I know why Michael Jackson is dead!

MJ's (not Mary-Jane) death is today's hottest news, huh? Death of a superstar is always a big news. Like some times ago, Heath Ledger's death. It made such a big scene,didn't it? Why do famous people always get the most attention? Why does a fire fighter's death in a heroic scene in Bangladesh, or a flying minaret's attic - it was true, I saw it on youtube - not shaking the world? Why does the Press only set their eyes on the most common happenings in a first wolrd country and ignore bizarre phenomena that happens in third world settings? I think the Press doesn't really covers the whole world.

Michael Jackson is a single human, for real! What is wrong with a human's death, although he is a famous person? It is not impossible for a man at his 50s to die. It is possible for a toddler to die because of a single matter, such as choked with food! People die when their time comes and this time is totally unpredictable. "Do you know that your sister will die tomorrow?" and you will be laughing so hard that you cry. No normal human can predict when he will get hit by a car or when he will get a heart attack. Even the prediction of when a baby will be born is often wrong.

So, what's the big deal? Why can't we move on when someone die? Death is a very common thing that happens in surprising - and sometimes unexpected - times. Yes, we'll feel sad when a close friend pass away, but he's just one person. We may be next. I say, we better move on and learn from that. Sometimes there are unfinished matters of a dead person, we can help him to finish it, can't we? If we help him with eyes still full of tears,heart full of sorrow and head filled with pessimistic feelings, we may end up making a mess with his matter, right? If we delay to do it until we get over it, maybe his matter will be much worse and complicated than it was, won't it?

Michael Jackson's death is a sad thing for the world, especially to his family. Furthermore, the police is now checking his dead corpse, messing up with his internal organs. Isn't making his family even sadder? Why don't they just let him rest in peace? Can't just the police fufilled their curiosity with only gathering alibies from his surroundings? He passed away and there's nothing and no one that can bring him back even though he is killed or used drugs. Honestly, I think it is scary to be famous.

the reason for my dream of college life.

Today is another start of my boring day. As usual, this time is my computer time, but I actually using my laptop instead of the computer because, somehow, one of my brothers stay at home. This is bothering me very much! This is the only time where I can freely use the computer without the disturbance of those little monkeys (although I still have to listen to my mother's preachings). They are really troublesome, bothersome, loud some, etc.

Sometimes, I feel like I can't take them anymore and I want to just fly away from this really annoying house. Remembering that now I am in year 11, I have one year left for that thought to come true. When I finish my year 12, I would start going to university and, hopefully, live my independent college life. That is what keeping me waiting very patiently. The idea that I can finally be like what I want is thrilling me, so although I always get a breakdown, I can face up the world again.

However, people say that there are no family without any love between them. I do care about my family. If I don't, then why do I bother to call that woman as my mother, that man as my father and those brats as my brothers? It is true that I hate them the most, but after all, I know deep in my heart that they are only humans that sometimes can misunderstand, even though I don't know how to fix the bond between me and father.

To be honest, I hate to feel like that. It makes me feel pathetic. I like to put on a strong expression, the mask that says I use my head more than my feelings (and covers up the opposite fact)... And to continue my point of the story, It would be great if I can live alone. My days are filled with orders and commands by my mother and I often get sick of it. furthermore, I am the only girl in this house and to make it worse, I am the firstborn! In conclusion, I have the responsibility to look after my younger brothers now and my parents when they get old and, at the same time, to have the ability to master house works! I really am cursed, aren't I ? I find it a very heavy burden on my shoulders. When I'm off to college life, I might reduce the burden or, at least, postpone it. I hope, when the time comes, I will be a much more mature woman and might handle this responsibilities whole-heartedly.

School is "fun"!

Today is the first week of my vacation. I have my vacation weeks earlier than my brothers. This is all due to my IGCSE exams which finishes earlier than school exams. However, I don't feel like I'm really in a vacation. This is worse than school days where I have to get up early in the morning, yawning all the way to the bathroom and from home to school. Today, those days enlighten me.

People describe vacation as the time of leisure, but here I feel as if I'm waiting for death to come. I'm really so very bored. Let me enlist my typical day at home:

• After waking up at 8, I make my bed, open the curtains, and turn off the lamps ( I sleep with the lights on).
• Then I would go to the washroom to wash my face, brush my teeth and other sanitation.
• Afterward, I travel my way to the kitchen, grab a sweep and sweep all parts of the house ( or my mother will start her "preaching" again).
• Usually, I would find my mother in the kitchen. In this time, I'm unemployed. I wait for my mother to tell me what to do, but she always starts shouting at me for not "helping her". For God sake! I don't now what else to do. Some other times, she would ask me to wash the clothes (with washing machine), hand-wash bleached clothes or dishes.
• Next, I might sit in front of the computer, doubting on what to browse and end up logging in facebook.
  
• When my mother starts shouting, I would log out of my facebook account, go to the kitchen with a frowning face and listen as she "curse" me and command me on what to do (she's really scary).
• When the jobs in the kitchen are all finished, I would watch tv, changing channels everytime I see ads and feel bloody bored.
• Still feeling bored, I would go to the computer again ( if it's absent of my brothers' hands) or I might enter the toilet, sit on the W.C. and do nothing. Pretty stupid, right? Oh well, I think I've lost my mind.
• The time now would be around 3 o'clock or 4 in the afternoon. When I'm finished with my preayers, sometimes I take a nap, but often, I continue on watching tv, browsing the internet or do some other idiotic movements in my room with the door locked.
  
• When the next prayer comes on dawn, I would do my prayer, close the curtains and off to the kitchen (again). I would put the dinner apparatus for my father, along with the shouting of my mother in my ears. After dinner, I would clean the table, kitchen tables, wash the dishes (often but not always) and sweep the kitchen floor.
• Afterward, I often watch the tv, but tonight, I am able to touch the computer ( it is very rare for me to be able to connect to the computer when my father is home).
• After this, I might go to bed.
• When I fall asleep and the mornign comes, the whole list will rewrite itself.

Boring, isn't it? In addition, I'm rarely allowed to go out with my friends. I'm afraid even to ask for permission as both my parents are, unfortunately, very strict and over-suspicious. Can you imagine how it feel to be me? Sob, sob...

"Oh school, I just realise how I love you so much!" and how I hate you so much when school days begin.

It's funny how we feel so stressed at school with all assignments to finish and, at the same time, in vacation when we have nothing to do and wanting all that is opposite to what we are busy with. Human is really a creature that will never have enough.

Grad&Prom

Well, I was busy with my exam. It finishes like... I don't know, it took too long. For the last 3 exams (I think), I didn't have any initiative to stud. I got bored! But that's HISTORY!

Last night, we had our prom. Yes, although I am still in year 11, I really wanted to go. So, I went. The graduation was ... okay, but the thing is, they messed up the certificates! Some of us received our friend's certificate, instead of us. I got mine right, but the name is totally wrong. See, my name is Nadya Hasnanda Khairuddin, but in the certificate, it is Nadya P. Sari. They put my friend's names on me!

After the graduation, we had dinner. I took many kinds of food, but left most of them untouched. It was not delicious. Most of the food were sour. I like sour foods, but not too much! To summaries, I took much more than my friends did. It's just.. my stomach wanted them. The best and worse part is the prom. It was cool, sexy and insane at the same time IF YOU HAVE A DATE. I did not have a date, so I ended up sitting on the back, watching people dance. It was so boring for me. I wished my "someone" was there. Someone asked me to dance, but dancing must be special. I want to only dance with the one I love (or such).

For next year, I think I'm going to attend the graduation only. I suppose I would not have the time and the guy to enjoy next year's prom. That is, if my parents allow me. When I told my mom that there would be next year too, she said why did I attend to this year grad? I should go only next year. Right, we have to pay much to come. But next year, I'm not going to waste my time no more. I have to be a responsible adult by next year and be accepted to some good universities. However, that is still a probability!