the reason for my dream of college life.

Today is another start of my boring day. As usual, this time is my computer time, but I actually using my laptop instead of the computer because, somehow, one of my brothers stay at home. This is bothering me very much! This is the only time where I can freely use the computer without the disturbance of those little monkeys (although I still have to listen to my mother's preachings). They are really troublesome, bothersome, loud some, etc.

Sometimes, I feel like I can't take them anymore and I want to just fly away from this really annoying house. Remembering that now I am in year 11, I have one year left for that thought to come true. When I finish my year 12, I would start going to university and, hopefully, live my independent college life. That is what keeping me waiting very patiently. The idea that I can finally be like what I want is thrilling me, so although I always get a breakdown, I can face up the world again.

However, people say that there are no family without any love between them. I do care about my family. If I don't, then why do I bother to call that woman as my mother, that man as my father and those brats as my brothers? It is true that I hate them the most, but after all, I know deep in my heart that they are only humans that sometimes can misunderstand, even though I don't know how to fix the bond between me and father.

To be honest, I hate to feel like that. It makes me feel pathetic. I like to put on a strong expression, the mask that says I use my head more than my feelings (and covers up the opposite fact)... And to continue my point of the story, It would be great if I can live alone. My days are filled with orders and commands by my mother and I often get sick of it. furthermore, I am the only girl in this house and to make it worse, I am the firstborn! In conclusion, I have the responsibility to look after my younger brothers now and my parents when they get old and, at the same time, to have the ability to master house works! I really am cursed, aren't I ? I find it a very heavy burden on my shoulders. When I'm off to college life, I might reduce the burden or, at least, postpone it. I hope, when the time comes, I will be a much more mature woman and might handle this responsibilities whole-heartedly.