Another unfairness!

aah... Friday. What a weekend. I woke up at (about) 6.45 am. I remembered today is the day my father would go back to my beloved home country, Indonesia, to accompany my grandma. Days before, my mum told me to tell him what I need to buy from Indonesia. It's just embarrassing to tell him of what I need. I won't say undies and stuff like that to him. Although he's my dad, still I don't feel good asking a guy. It's better to tell a woman. and.. I want a gown! light blue or purple satin. for prom, of course. But I didn't say nothing to him. I was jealous - and still am jealous- of him flying to Indonesia by himself and canceling my vacation plan to Indonesia without discussing it with me! How could he do that? I mean, a family needs everything to be done by discussions and agreements. Furthermore, we are a family of SIX and I am a TEENAGER! I really need to travel out of boredom and run around like a monkey with my friends back in Indonesia, as teenagers are supposed to. Dad treats me like a little 5-year-old child who needs everything to be done by someone else. Well, some parts is true. But for the things I strive for, I would do everything by myself. When I have the mood for it, I have the go. He said I need to just ask him about something I'm certain and serious about,but he never agrees to one of my questions! That's why I would just wait for him to decide what's good for me (he thinks I can't live my life by myself).

I really miss my friends in Indonesia. My best friends here said that they would go back for vacation and they'll meet up without me if I don't. How sad. We even planned on what to do when we get back, but then when my father said it's cancelled...

Dad cancelled the vacation because mum doesn't want to go back. I know why. It's because if dad goes back to Indonesia with all of us, including mum, we'll be heading to his mother's house.
For a long time, there has been a fight between my mum and his mother. When we were going home from the airport mum started to flashbacks all her bad memories from my dad's family. From her stories, it seems like she is the one who gets all the losses. Although I sympathise her, I still want to know the truth. I'll ask her (my dad's mother) when I get back, well, I really want to. I guess I have to be my next-year- age (17) to be seen old enough to ask such question. It has made me leaking my tears for sometimes when I hear about it. I hate crying and feeling sad. I should end this sadness!

This problem could never shed away from my mind when it's not finished, right? But maybe, when I know the truth, I might be even more depressed of this family problem. What do you think? It's just I don't want to have a pair of parents whose parents are hating each other. This'll ruin me and my brothers ( I have 3 younger brothers)!

Her other reason is because we have nowhere to stay and feel completely comfortable. That's true. Last 2 year's vacation was not 100 percent enjoyable. I feel bad for making my relative's house as my family's nest. They made our meals, they shopped for us, they did everything for us. That's just not fair for them. There's no place more comfortable than our very own homes, right?

This is not fair, but I guess there's no other choice beside following the trails of my life. Maybe next year I will have my chance to go back and sort out all my problems there. Let's hope for the best.

Oh.. I'll text my dad about my needs and please... comment or answer my question above. Thank you. :D